Here’s a little known fact – I do have friends who are sane – at least by my method of measurement. Sanity is a precious asset and we need to do our best maintain it. Life can suck and be really hard to be a part of sometimes but we go on. We find coping mechanisms like what Jennifer Weymark-Fox encountered during some very dark days. Have a look at the inspiring journey she describes as this week’s special guest blogger:
Kickboxing My Way To Sanity
Okay, the title might be overstating it because whether or not I am sane is probably still up for debate but I can safely state that kickboxing helped to pull me out of my darkest days.
It all started with the birth of my first kidlet. Actually, thinking back, it probably started with that first pregnancy. It was a rough one. I spent the entire pregnancy puking several times a day. I was worn down, frustrated because I felt so horrible and completely over the whole being pregnant thing. Turns out that the rough pregnancy was just the beginning as I found myself sliding into a depression, one that continued to grow deeper and darker with my second pregnancy and the birth of my second kidlet.
When the second one was born and I found myself in an even darker place, I sought help. I knew that exercise was something that had helped me in the past and I held out hope that it would at least aid me again. I tried to make time to exercise at home but it was a struggle. Over the course of my entire second mat leave, the kidlets only napped at the same time twice. TWICE! That meant that I either had to try when they were awake or make it work in the mornings. Seeing as sleep was a huge issue, the mornings were just not working for me. Then I stumbled into kickboxing and I was hooked.
My depression took the form of rage. I was angry all the time (for those geeks out there think Bruce Banner but with less huge green rage monster) and it was making life in our house horrible. Kickboxing gave me an outlet for my rage. There is something so very cathartic about punching something in a safe environment.
Oh so quickly, kickboxing became my lifeline. It was my safe place and I clung to the outlet it provided me during that really dark time. There were days that it felt like I was simply holding on until I could leave the darkness and step briefly into the comfort of kickboxing.
Soon it became much more than a lifeline, it became a passion. I found myself loving the power I felt as I punched and kicked my way through a workout. I became more aware of just what my body was capable of and more confident in my own strength. As I began to dig my way out of the darkness and rage that had almost suffocated me, I continued with my training. Today kickboxing continues to be a passion as I find myself working towards my black belt. It also continues to be an outline and a safe place when I find the darkness creeping back into my life.